As authors, how do we balance writing about the reality of teen sex with sensitivity toward younger readers and the parents, teachers, and booksellers who share our books with them? How much is too much? Is there such a thing as not enough?
I struggled with this during the writing of Twenty Boy Summer, because sex is part of the reality of the story—one aspect of the physical and emotional journey two best friends follow in the wake of the tragedy that so defines them. I knew that I had to include the sexual content, but I also wondered how much detail I should write into the scenes. I wanted it to be realistic and descriptive without shying from it, but I was also cautious about going too far, because despite the lighthearted and flirty title, sex is not the focus of the story.
Twenty Boy Summer is officially labeled for ages 12 and up, but when people ask me which ages I recommend it for, I always suggest at least 14, and I encourage the parents or teachers to check it out first. But now that the book is on the shelves (a few weeks early!) and making its way in the world, I’ve heard from readers as young as 11 and 12 who’ve read the book at the suggestion of a parent, teacher, or librarian and loved it. On the flip side, I’ve also heard from reviewers and parents who feel that it’s definitely not appropriate for teens under 15.
So a question for our bookseller, librarian, and teacher visitors: how do you handle this issue? Do you feel that books with sexual content are okay for younger teens? Do parents or the readers themselves ever ask you to offer a rating on a book, similar to movie ratings? Have you ever intentionally withheld a book recommendation for a younger reader based on mature content, or had a parent complain about a book that their child brought home? Do you think books should come with actual ratings, like PG and R? Share your thoughts and experiences in the comments below!
Comments
1 Trish Doller // May 20, 2009 at 7:29 pm
My day job is a bookseller at The Big Chain and when I’m helping parents choose books for their younger teens, I always ask them what else their child has read and their child’s sophistication level. For instance, I have a pretty unsophisticated 14-year-old who, while I think she can handle YA books with sexual content, prefers NOT to read it. In any case, I try to take my cues from the parents on whether or not to recommend–or not recommend–a book with sexual content. If a person is buying for a younger teen who is not their own child, I always err on the side of caution.
As a writer, I’m grappling with this issue. In my first book, I studiously avoided sexual situations. First, because the book was written with my then-12-year-old in mind. Second, because I realized it wasn’t necessary in order for the book to work. But my next project is far different and I’m trying to find the right balance.
As far as ratings go, no. I don’t think there should be a rating system. What is appropriate for one teen is different for another and as a parent I think the choice lies with my daughter and I.
2 Doret // May 20, 2009 at 8:29 pm
As a bookseller -If I’ve read the YA books a customer is asking about I’ll do my best to explain if they have questions about content. If I feel the parent is very strict when it comes to their child reading habits. I try to go clean clean. For instance the Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants. I’d say 13up. However if a parent comes in looking for a clean book with no sex for their 14yr old daughter I won’t suggest Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants. Even though Bridget regrets having sex with her coach. It doesn’t promote sex but rather waiting. But some parents will only see the sex. However there are more than a few who are willing to listen. Each situation is different and it depends on the customer.
Two things I would never do.
1- Show a scene out of context. To me it seems wrong to show a physical scene to a customer asking about content, because its a part of the whole. To only read that, I don’t think is enough to judge the book.
2- I never make a suggestion on content if I haven’t read the book.
I’ve never had a customer come back and complain about content.
And I agree with Trish no rating system.
From a booksellers POV I hate when a YA book featuring lets say a 15yr old protaginist reads like its for a 11 or 12 yr old but it has sex scenes written for a 16yr old. Its makes it harder to handsell. Older teens won’t like it, b/c it too long. Younger teens may like it but I can’t suggest it.
3 FredTownWard // May 21, 2009 at 8:02 am
There are some parents who do not want ANY sex in the books their children read, and authors, publishers, booksellers, librarians, and teachers need to respect that…
by not surprising them.
Nothing is going to get you more complaints than the appearance of trying to put one over on parents in the area of sex or other controversial topics. Always err on the side of more honesty.
I’d also suggest being extremely leery of including sex scenes or other controversial topis in later books of a series that started out without them. For example when the Hardy Boys meet Nancy Drew parents are going to ASSUME that it is for the purpose of solving mysteries, not having sex.
4 Doret // May 21, 2009 at 8:00 pm
I wonder which Hardy brother would make Nancy Swoon. BTW Sarah, Twenty Boy Summer has made its way to Atlanta.
5 C. Lee McKenzie // May 26, 2009 at 5:01 pm
This is really when I wish we had nothing but independent booksellers who actually read the books like Doret above and could talk to the parents or teachers when they enter the store.
So about the question of sex in YA. Any scene integral to the story should be there–sexy or not. However, I think a lot can be left to the imagination when writing about sex and achieve the effect. I recall the way Hitchcock handled his horrific scenes often made more horrifying by subtle misdirection of the camera.
I’m not a huge fan of Stepanie Meyers, but I thought the way she handled the sexiness in Twilight was brilliant–always tense, never explicit.
6 Howlynn Martin // Mar 17, 2011 at 11:41 pm
I am also writing – and have no idea where to include and leave out. I do not approve of pretending sex does not occur. I grew up with parents who pretended – never brought the subject up. I don’t want to portray any kid from 15 up who has no thoughts on the subject. It instantly says to the kids – this writer has no clue. I want to portray females who take responsibility for the choices they make – without being prey because they are so innocent and pure. (clueless = prey)
I would not send my daughter to an algebra test if she has not been taught basic math – sex is bigger than a test…..yet parents send them out into the world with no instructions.
I mean it just annoys me that you can chop a humans head off – and thats fine – but don’t under any circumstances show pleasure or closeness.
Catching fire is an example…
I don’t want to read pages of the stuff – but like Katniss and Peeta – two kids going to die – on the train and sleeping platonicly in the same bed every night – you should hear the snickers of the readers in that age group – not because they are all in any way active (yes some are) but because the characters choice is a little too “In your face better than perfect”. Your gonna die and your waiting for what? None of the ones I have spoken with buy that – and I don’t blame them.
I think so many novels portray girls as sluts or pure-mary —-and most girls are somewhere in between. 20 boy summer – awesome because there are major factors involved that changed the view of the idea. It does not make the subject taboo – but we are not reading penthouse either. I think (well hope ) that when portrayed in a way that it is not vulger, shameful, cruel or dirty – it should be acceptable.
Careful attention to the subject, to me, adds a level of connection to this age. No matter where they are in the exploration stage – they have seen more on TV then can be simply shucked off as unreadable.
My mom handled it better in books than in conversation. My first adult book – The Stand. She told me to skip over any icky parts I didn’t want to read. She didn’t mean the leaking zombie phlem or the squishy dead bodys in the tunnel…the icky parts were the sex! LOL
Girls are taught only that love and sex equal fairytale – which kind of sets them up to feel like failures when it isn’t true.
I will more than likely be unpublishable because my MC wants in on the decision – man in the drivers seat is not her style. Getting past the whole’ girls must not enjoy this experience’ is where I am hoping to go. But boy oh boy it is scary – cause it seems to be politically correct to convey – bikini parts do not exist.
I love the un-sex in Twilight too – but broody, controling stalker boyfriend who may lose it and eat you is a little off my ideal hope for who my daughter looks to date. Grin. I want her to find the one that will die to protect her,longs to please her and does NOT blow the whole sleepin on the train scene – hehehe.
Thanks for your great post.
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